The Conglomerate Lode

What I so like about blogging, aside from the serious writing I so enjoy, is that when something funny comes up I now have somewhere to share like an email I received yesterday soliciting my employment and what follows are portions of the email dissected for all to enjoy:

Dear Applicant,

By this message we would like to respond to your CV which you’ve posted with CareerBuilder and suggest you to apply for a vacant position with our Company. 

So far so innocent sounding but the next couple of sentences cocked my head like a dog confused as to what his master is saying:    Working for our company, you will be engaged in a real business issue that would require your part-time involvement. You can receive benefit even staying at your home or office. This is an ongoing job with money guaranteed.  Phrases like “…engaged in a real business (opposed to a phony one?) issue (sounds political) that would require your part-time involvement (how?) And then the way the next sentence reads sounds to me as though the individual that created this ad does not speak fluent English and for that reason given the benefit of doubt this could be a legidament offer.  Then the, “ongoing job with money guaranteed,” sounds suspicious, eh?   My mind then questions the job title:  Manager of turnover,  is this retention of customers?  what type of customer?  Where?  Compensation Rate:  1650 U.S. Dollars a month reeks of out country employers, in my opinion.  Situation: the USA, hhhhmmmm, is this good or bad for the USA?  Sounds of espionage. Main responsibilities: Transportation services, more spy stuff as if blowing something up.

General Requirements:

– Possibility to work during 5-10 hrs a week; – Citizen of the USA; – Assiduous personality;  You can accept packages weighting up to 10 kg;  You do have an actual address to accept deliveries. This here is the part of the job description that caught my eye the hours, citizenship and the assiduous personality which assiduous by definition is:  devoted, diligent, unceasing, persistent.  Once I found this out red flags started flying and again sounds very negative.  The last two sentences about packages up to 10 kg (22lbs) and address send ye olde goosebumbs up and down the back but After we verify your personal information and find it suitable, you will be contacted by our job manager  and“your mission jim should you decide to accept…” and “…if any of your IMF force should be caught of killed the secretary will disavow any knowledge of your existence…” brings to mind the tv show Mission Impossible that dealt with foreign powers.

So after a good laugh I deleted and hope to not get any more like this.

On a positive note, even though Detroit had a par for the course preseason,  the new hockey season begins on Tuesday and the race for The Cup!!!Good day!